I’ve been reading this book:
Leonard Mlodinow ~ Subliminal
It’s good.
But I’ve just had one of those WTF moments…
Some more pictures, bear with , bear with:
Basically this dude is saying that we can be subtly influenced, in matters of the heart, by a person’s surname.
This table shows marriages between the 5 most common US surnames:
By far the most marriages occur along the diagonal. I.e. Smiths marry Smiths, Browns marry Browns, even though there are far more Smiths to choose from, no, they end up with a Brown.
“What does this tell us?” He says.
“People have a basic desire to feel good about themselves, and we therefore have a tendency to be unconsciously biased in favour of traits similar to our own, even such seemingly meaningless traits as names.”
Well that’s interesting, I think to myself.
My surname is Marriott.
So I haven’t found a nice lady to get married to yet, but I’ve had 3 rather major crushes.
My first was my French teacher in Secondary school. Her surname was Marrable.
My second was my biochemistry tutor. Her surname was Mason.
The third, well that’s a bit more recent, so I won’t say it here. But it does, the first two letters of her surname are ‘Ma.’
What the hell?!
I thought I was romantic. I thought I fell for these women because they were gorgeous and funny and because I liked the way my French teacher would trip over her handbag (so adorable) every lesson.
I thought I liked my biochemistry tutor because of her gorgeous figure and because she looked hot in a labcoat.
I thought I liked the third woman because of her gorgeous brown eyes and witty comments.
But noooo!!!!
Hell I just subconsciously like the surnames, because it boosts my fragile little ego.
So I’m off to amend my dating profile. Wife wanted. Must be gorgeous and have a surname that begins with ‘Ma.’ Should save me the hassle of sifting through the wrong’uns…
Very interesting results. I had no idea about that trend. Our names do subtly affect us in many ways, though. I once remember reading that Dennises tended to become dentists more often than expected, for example.
That really doesn’t surprise me now after starting to read this book lol. It’s just fascinating!
Another classic is that people with last names that start higher in the alphabet become more successful academics because publications often list authors in citations in alphabetic order.
For some reason this extends weakly to other careers, if I’m not mistaken, and I am not sure any potential causes have been identified.
Oh the frailty of the human ego! Is it possible that that table also shows a trend in narcissism?
Sure seems that way!
How interesting. Ya know, i think a name is just a name. I don’t put much stock into it and other things like age, social status, income, job. I think we are conditioned to nourish our ego , even subliminally. But, i think that’s more our primal instincts of survivable of the fittest. To find the best mate.
Hrm….
“Re” – “Ne”
“Re” – “Ka”
“Re” – “Ce”
“Re” – “Ki”
“Re” – “Lu”
I failed.
Interesting post though! Definitely a cool thing to think about.
Lol
You’re obviously not as narcissistic as moi
I guess since I married a woman from Thailand there’d be no chance of my name matching up with hers!
lol!
Haha. Well, good luck!!! Just hope her name isn’t like Renee then.
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Very interesting. There is also research showing that we are attracted to people with opposing qualities (e.g. personality typing such as Myers Briggs) and that those unions create lasting marriages.
Not saying the above is wrong, there are surely numerous subconscious motivations at work! Would be interesting to know if that study controlled for incidence of the same name in ones’ surrounding region…
Good point
Well that’s fascinating and while it hasn’t happened to me with marriage, I *do* believe that there is a lot of power in names, and words in general. I mean, I always thought it was rather strange the way that Princess Diana died in France where her nickname was “Di-di” (pronounced die-die) and she was *with* a man called Dodi (very similar to “do-die”). Die, die, do die. Anyway, I always thought that was strange.
PLUS, I read in one of my therapy books (and this is more about the power of words than names, but similar theme) about some man who used the “S” swear word a lot, like constantly, every other word was s**t. And this guy came to a therapist complaining that he’d had diarrhoea for a long time and nobody could cure him and medication wasn’t working.
So the therapist noticed pretty quickly his speech habit and almost perpetual use of this particular swear word dotted throughout each sentence. He told the man to stop using it, and after some practice, the man was able to reduce it significantly, at which point his diarrhoea cleared up. Yep, true story. Really weird stuff. So I definitely believe in the power of names and words in general.
And your particular set of circumstances that you list is most interesting! I mean, wow. Three of them had a similar surname to yours. That’s very unusual. I bet there are a lot of things that affect us in choosing our mate that we are unaware of.
I still think astrology has something to do with the people that we attract/are attracted to both romantically and as friends. And also I think that people who turn out to be our enemies might also be affected by these types of strange things. There are two signs that I always seem to end up liking one way or another, and one sign that I always dislike (but I would never say it publicly). One way or another I end up knowing people from these three signs far out of proportion to the other 9 signs, so I don’t think it’s coincidence.
Very interesting post!
Hmm perhaps if I stop saying “shit” I’ll cure my colitis! (Joke!) I don’t say shit very often actually I more say “fuck.” So according to the subconscious rules if I stop saying “fuck” perhaps I will get laid sooner?
Hmmm. I don’t really know that much about astrology, not enough to have noticed any particular patterns anyway!
I know, I did freak myself out when I read that name thing though. I mean all 3 beginning with “Ma” and they’re all fairly uncommon names lol. I have had other gfs, I’ve had a Speck, a Jones and a Bunce lol, but those three “Ma”s are the sort of insane unfulfilled crush, which seems a different category entirely! Not to mention, I only got together with the Bunce because she reminded me of the Mason
True story, as you say.
LOL interesting post and book although i can honestly say i have never been with someone whose last name was similar to my own (maiden name Williams). My oldest daughter however married someone last name Williamson lol.
Freaky coz me and my husband have similar second names!
Very freaky…