The bottle of rioja had gone down far too easily. I’m sure she had drunk most of it. “It’s one thing getting on with someone online” she said, “quite another matter to get on so well in the flesh.” She looked into my eyes. I felt distinctly uneasy. Yes, I had fantasized about this moment for months. Yes, I had pursued her emphatically. But it’s easy to fake confidence when writing online.
“Tell me Rebecca” she said, “Do I live up to your expectations?” What did she want me to say? There was little doubt that she was flirting with me at this point.
“You know you do.” I replied. I had to stop myself from smiling. I felt like a confused child, unsure what to do next. I thought about her husband. I willed myself not to fall for her charms. I knew I would end up getting hurt.
“I really need the loo.” I said.
“Okay.” She cocked her head to the side, smirking. My intimidation was obvious.
I left the table and made my way to the toilet. I did really need to piss.
Crap. What am I doing? What am I playing at? She’s just winding me up, surely. My perfect woman is sat there downstairs, leather jacket with ruffled shoulders, skirt, cowboy boots. It’s everything we talked about. Oh my God her brown eyes, her eyebrows, her ears with the little earrings in that I just want to kiss. Her neck. Tiny breasts. Yoga, she does yoga for Christ’s sakes! Pull yourself together woman, you can do this. I straightened my hair in the mirror and headed back downstairs.
She wasn’t there at the table. I looked at the bar, scoured the room with my eyes. My phone beeped. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t do it”.