Part of the blog challenge from Swift Expression.
I was doing them in order, but no. 4 has escaped me… I have an idea but it may involve me changing out of my pyjamas.
Anyway. Question 5.
” Create your nemesis. After you have described your nemesis in detail, describe at least one new thing that you have discovered about your own personality by doing this.”
My nemesis eats vegan cupcakes. She’s a heterosexual female with a husband, two kids, probably a cat, and a pretty full bank balance.
She wears clothes from Marks & Spencer’s and admires Twiggy. She reads the Daily Mail, Top Sante, and Good Housekeeping Magazines. She’s a Conservative. She doesn’t know why, it’s because her mother was.
She does ironing. Life is not easy, but she gets everything done and doesn’t complain. She never really has any time for herself.
She watches Coronation Street, Eastenders and HolbyCity. She has a sky plus box to record programmes when she is busy, like when she’s doing pilates.
She slept with 3 men before she married her husband, and none since, despite the fact that her husband is having it off with other women every now and then. She finds out about this, and decides to stay with him anyway.
She wears high heel shoes to the pub, and has travel-straighteners. She buys L’Oreal face cream that costs £12 a pot.
She also drinks Caffeine-free diet Coke.
She listens to Michael Buble.
What have I learnt about my own personality by doing this?
Well. I just, unintentionally, described my mother.
Ooops. Well that was interesting. I love my mother. Why… why is she my nemesis?
Ok, so what have I learnt about my personality?
God, this is really hard.
Well partly, I’m jealous. Of the full bank balance. And the ability to… to be a conservative, to read the Daily Mail without getting angry. Of being sorted, A life gone according to plan. Marriage. Mortgage. 30 year job. Kids. Car.
And your nemesis, as well as being your enemy, I suppose, is an opponent you can’t overcome. I can’t overcome my current struggles. Financial difficulties. Health difficulties. Relationship difficulties. I would quite like all of that stuff.
But my personality, beliefs etc. are so far-stretched from hers. We are cut from a different cloth. How did she give birth to me? And why did I grow up so different?
But, if I had all that stuff… would I be happy? I don’t think she is. Not really. I mean, she did good, she did a good job with me and my sister. But was it worth it? Did she unnecessarily miss out?
And am I missing out?
I am in a situation where I am dating. Ok, dating women. But most of them normal.
Have you heard the one about the U-haul lesbians? It’s a lesbian stereotype. First date, have a good time. Second date, sex. Third date, move in together. As stereotypes go it’s entirely accurate.
I just want sex. I just want sex, that’s all. I can’t exactly afford to pay for it.
Can’t we just, please, have sex? Twice a week?
The problem is, my personality, truly, doesn’t really allow for that. I get attached easily. I’m naturally monogamous. So here I am, stuck. Wanting sex. Not wanting a relationship. Dating women who want relationships, to get sex.
It’s a disaster zone.
Can someone please fetch me some man-meat? At least the man-meat understands I’m a lesbian. Therefore, relationship is out of the question.
Or even some woman-meat that behaves like man-meat. And does not want to leave her toothbrush and watch Hollyoaks together.
So, in conclusion, I suppose my real nemesis is perhaps not my mother per se, but society in general. Rules that are laid down, drummed into people’s heads. Be in monogamous relationships. Get married.
And also, myself. I am my own nemesis. My gender. Women form emotional attachments quickly. And strongly. I’m not any different. So, I’m fighting against myself because I’m not ready for a relationship. I know that.
And I will never beat myself.
Yeah, it’s a shitty situation.
I’m just fed up of acting.
I just want to be used and abused.
For the time being anyway.
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