Sleaze, breasts and becoming a nun.

Ok. We called it an experiment. Changing boxes. Lesbian to bi. On gaydargirls.

I can reveal it has been a somewhat interesting experiment. I have been offered approximately 10 times as much casual sex, (I should be recording numbers shouldn’t I to be properly scientific.), sent about 10 times as many naked pictures of naked ladies. Mainly breasts. In fact, I think I have seen so many breasts I’ve been put off breasts. (If that’s possible.)

Most of the people contacting me are bi themselves. Some of them, in a relationship, but have a love of the ladies… Hubbie doesn’t mind if they ‘play’. Sometimes hubbie wants to watch (lovely). Others are unattached, bi, with kids, just looking for fun.

I was going to write a post about how soul-destroying the whole thing is. Being a lesbian / bisexual lady. I’m aware that this happens in straight circles / swingers etc… but is it not all just a little… sleazy???

It seems I am at a sort of junction, I have a choice. The women who are ‘looking for love / Ms. Right’ well, frankly, I’d rather eat a rat the way I feel right now about stuff like that. I don’t want to go leading anybody on in that way….

Or… well it’s the sleazy route isn’t it. Which is, winning my attention.

Great. I’m a big sleazy sleazebag. Yes, I know, there’s nothing sleazy about wanting fun / sex. I appreciate the honesty ladies, really. I just wish your husbands were a bit more attractive to be honest, no offence.

Or there is the third, rather more appealing choice… run away and become a nun. Can you still do that nowadays?

Priest nun sex

When did this blog turn into Carrie’s off sex and the city?

I couldn’t help but wonder….. is it actually possible to go off breasts? Could too many breasts have reduced the impact of the breasts on myself? Or are they the wrong breasts? Do I have to wait until I see the right pair, will it be love at first sight? Or should I look at people’s faces? Perhaps I’m a face girl. Would it be better if the breasts were a surprise? If I have already seen your breasts what is the point? Where is the fun? I don’t want to see any more breasts dammit. There are breasts everywhere and I can’t face them. I can’t face up to the breasts. They are too big and too breasty. And they make me want to run away and become a nun.

Please. No more.

nuns

15 thoughts on “Sleaze, breasts and becoming a nun.

  1. Dear Rebecca, it is indeed a confusing world out there, but to become a nun, if nuns still exist (I resisted saying the number of nuns is none), then you have to believe in one of the many Gods that are on offer on the menu of your local church, monastery, etc. This would be the main reason for you not becoming a nun. Another reason is that you have to spend a lot of time praying.

    Now as for people sending you pictures of people’s breasts I do think you are right to express a grievance. Breasts are indeed lovely parts of the human anatomy, but so are faces and arms. And a disembodied breast is a rather alarming thing….and could lead to more nightmares/fantasies/dreams about your mother. This seems unhelpful. I also do not know why people send you pictures of breasts when they should be well aware that you have two of your own (well, I am assuming so maybe you have three or four, or none, like a nun, there could not resist that). So they need to be told to stop doing that.

    The man-meat problem remains, a kind of stop sign in the desert….or the flood of invitations, worthless invitations (for who cand drink or even swim in floodwaters) you are receiving. In this context, I have to admit that the nunnery comes into view as an a comparatively attractive fantasy (but don’t blur it with reality).

    Now my list of 7 varieties (goodness fancy me giving advice on anything!):
    1. Man-meat is best served socialised – this means the man is tender, and ready for consumption
    2. Man-meat is best taken with red wine, light, frivolous, like a Beaujolais…if that is how you spell it, and if you are paying..
    3. An unusual kind of man-meat is the “chevalier” variety, sometimes marketed in the UK as “chivalrous” – this kind of meat can be tough on the inside but tender on the outside. Recommended only for three course meals
    4. An even rarer kind of man-meat is “Nice man” variety – while sometimes the conversion to sausage fails, you at least can talk to them for a variety
    5. Some man-meat comes packaged as “pig” – you need to be careful of those.
    6. Some cuts of man-meat, such as the brain need to be prepared carefully – a lot of man-meat imagines itself in threesomes and other kinds of prefab situation. While this kind of product was invented in times of luxury, it is named in honour of the War years of deprivation – they call it either Spam or Porned Meat. You are actually better off with canned varieties from special shops than the kind you find wandering in bars
    7. Man-meat needs to be served rare. I know there is a tendency to want to heat it, to cook it, to make it all hot. But really, Rebecca, the French are right about this – rare is best.

    As you can tell, I being rather stupid. But then I am a (kind of) man, well, I fake my manhood…..and so long as I do not try to have sex, most people believe my cover. In fact, I think I might join you in the nunnery, or maybe I belong there even more than you do.

    But that would be another story….

    • Oh you do make me laugh…

      I think we speak the same language “Sometimes the conversion to sausage fails…” lol.

      The trouble will be of course, I will get drunk in a bar, yes, very good… and I will just be talking about steak and sausages, spam… trying to differentiate between the rump steak and the sirloin…

      I’m sure I will get myself all confused and the poor fellas even more so… lol

      • And it won’t matter, they will all be so keen to take you home – but you do, as I say, have to be discriminating in your choice of cuts and of meats…..

  2. I love writingthebody’s replies to you! Personally I don’t really like breasts or man meat unless they come attached to a face (well, not directly, there need to be other fleshy bits in between)! A personality helps too…

  3. Ah internet dating sites. Gotta love em. You know what I think it is? We all love a good breast pic but we like some mystery too. It’s the pursuit and our imagination leading up to the reveal that makes its appealing and attractive. But to have it thrown at your face right off the bat? It’s not very sexy. I think you are young and not ready to jump into another serious relationship. I don’t think you are sleazy wanting to have fun/ get laid. There is no harm in going out on dates and fooling around. I say have a good time!

  4. Have you tried a different kind of dating site? Don’t they have the ones which match you up according to personality type etc. If they only allow for one “preference”, i.e. looking for a man OR a woman (not either or both), then you could join a couple of different sites perhaps. Look for men on one site and women on another. See what you get. Just an idea. Surely they have options for how serious a relationship you are looking for. You can probably choose “fun” or “just dating” or something like that, I would reckon. Anyway, maybe since you are expanding your horizons with regards to the kind of person/people you might like to meet, you could expand your pool of dating sites too. I don’t know how women (lesbian/bi) feel about the line, “I’m not looking for anything serious just yet, so I’d like to take things slowly,” but I think a lot of men would find that rather attractive.

    • Well to be honest, I have found a fuckbuddy (female). So yes there are obviously some women who… well yes, she’s on the same wavelength as me. She has kids and isn’t looking for anything serious either.

      I will probably get round to setting up a profile on plenty of fish or something. But it is just a bit outside of my box… and I don’t really know very much about straight dating sites, which ones are any good etc.

      Not to mention I am just very nervous about the whole thing. Yes, it is something I’m interested to explore, but I will need to feel comfortable, as well, I haven’t done it before lol. And it is kind of a big deal to me. Make sense? Mostly, I just feel a bit daft and inadequate. Yes, there are probably umptynine men willing to sleep with me, but as J says, I do think I need to be a bit more discerning lol.

      Plus, going on a date with a guy, to me, seems… weird. Really weird lol! Which is why perhaps I have more of an idea for just socialising and seeing where it takes me. Rather than, yes, I’m going on a date with a guy. Although did go on date with trans guy but that was a bit different, psychologically.

      I don’t know. Or quite possibly I will just stay at home in my pyjamas watching Hollyoaks which is also a good plan 🙂 I think…

      • You’re in unfamiliar territory – always scary. Sure. Sorry, I don’t always read what J says so don’t know about the discerning thing. I didn’t get the impression you’d leap into bed with any guy (or woman). It just seems like you’re looking for something not too serious right now, which doesn’t make you sleazy at all.

        We all have our comfort zone. Taking baby steps to explore what’s outside it is a bit daunting. I’m glad you have someone who’s on the same wavelength as you right now. 🙂 And yes, when in doubt, just watch Hollyoaks! 😉

  5. Damn girl. I read that and then I thought… what if there is a dude out there who acts like a chick to get pics of boobs? I mean, that would be ingenious given the quantity of imagery being thrown at you. And I don’t blame you for being like “Dude. Enough. Put those things away, ugh.”

    It seems to me like you are very much a relationship girl that is a little burnt out of relationships right now. And I understand that. All in all, whatever works for you just as long as it makes you happy and contributes to your emotional health.

    As for the nun question, yes. Most have you spend a few years in the order before committing though. It’s a lifetime ordeal. I’ve seriously looked into it before several times, it’s a great option if prayer and service are your callings. I think I’m a tad too selfish personally. But eh, we’ll see. 😉

    Hope you are having an evening away from the evil boobs. Lmao

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