Boundaries, consent, misplaced boundaries.

Move the barrier

Hit the hurdle

Move the barrier

Hit the hurdle

Move the barrier

Lose the race

And so much more

 

I would never ever sexually or mentally-sexually violate a woman. Or a man.

 

For you to put that on me, it’s not fair.

 

I think about it every day.

Rape by mustisi on deviantart.com

Rape by mustisi on deviantart.com

 

“I’ve spoken to my friends and they think if you were a man you wouldn’t get away with behaving like this.”

 

Like what exactly. What exactly did you tell them. A bunch of lies. I hope it was worth it. I hope it made you feel better. I hope it made you feel like everything is rosy in your little rose-garden.

 

Because I am living with this.

 

What you accused me of.

 

It won’t go away.

 

It makes me feel worthless.

 

You make me feel worthless.

 

You make me feel like a dirty disgusting rapist.

unseen violence by blauerozen on deviantart.com

unseen violence by blauerozen on deviantart.com

But the truth is, you raped me.

 

You raped me of my soul. You raped me of my ability to trust. You raped me of my faith, my spirituality and you took away my joy.

tom violence by charlieovobubbles on deviantart.com

tom violence by charlieovobubbles on deviantart.com

And I want it back.

5 thoughts on “Boundaries, consent, misplaced boundaries.

  1. I am not sure what the backstory to this post is. But I hope you get back all you want and need, and then go forward… Because you are strong and you matter.

  2. Damn girl, your ex makes mine look like a knight in shining armor.

    Basically, she’s lying. One of my exes did this shit to me, but I found out who my friends were. You don’t need people like her in your life. In these instances, I totally cut off said person. Blocked on everything, not mentioned in conversation, not linked to friends… nothing. Enough. If you aren’t to that point yet, I assure you that you will get there. This crap is unacceptable and not worth a second of your time. Anyone who believes what she is saying is not only clinically retarded, but they probably also believe that everything on the internet is true. Because the internet told them so.

    Keep your head up and deal with this. It’s not even worth a second of your time, and you know that.

    • It’s not my ex. My ex is the most honest person I know, always has been. She’s like family to me now. And like an angel in comparison to this woman.

      No, this was some married woman. She has cut off all ties. But it goads me that she basically spewed all this garbage before doing so. She is just pathetic to the utmost, and would have to be, she found it easier to accuse me of being a stalker / violator type figure than to acknowledge what she had been participating in. It reminds me of the woman who regrets having sex and then cries rape. Just despicable.

      My problem is, I’m trying to accept it’s not worth a second of my time. But I feel like I have no chance to defend myself, because I’ve been cut off. And her lies are now out there in the atmosphere, whatever. We have mutual friends. And the thought that she would say to them what she said to me, well it worries me. I know it shouldn’t. Because any true friends would not believe this bullshit. But it upsets me that even people I don’t know, what they may think of me. Yes, the likelihood is I’m never going to come across these people. And I try and keep that in mind.

      But mostly, more than anything, I’m just so very hurt by her. I trusted her. Looked up to her. Admired her. All those things. That’s why I fell for her. And well, it has just devastated me.

      Also, I think I have some sort of unconscious fear that this will happen with other women. And I think I’m scared. And I don’t know if that’s why I have turned to men. I actually have next to no interest in women these days.

      • Oh, okay! I actually forgot about this person that you are talking about, my bad. I’ll attempt not to assume next time. 😉

        And this situation reminds me of this whole thing with my ex best friend. All the garbage being spewed out, the stress. And I think what you are feeling is to be expected to be perfectly honest with you. It takes a little bit to get the nerve to really put yourself out there again after being completely screwed over. People = pain. And that is the last thing any of us want.

        Love knows no gender, so go wherever your heart takes you. The stuff through the last year or so has made me realize that the best thing for me to do right now is be alone. So whatever way seems best for you.

        I’m really sorry about that crap though. People suck. But like I said above, don’t let it get to you. I’ve never even met you in person, but even I know that is completely wrong and not something that you would do. Ever.

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