Calm and Queasy

It affects everything, being ill. Today was my clumsiest day. One thing after another. Trying not to let it get to me. How can you concentrate on doing your job when your mind is elsewhere, when your mind is in your colon. Rhetorical question.

How do I get the support I need when I’m worried about losing my job. I’m effectively on probation.

I have to look at it from the point of view that if I can’t do the job, rewind one month, I never had a job anyway. I’m already one up. All it’s going to mean is being back where I started. Worst case scenario.

You see, stress makes everything worse, so I have to justify it like this in my mind.

I also don’t know how to handle it. I will feel better if I let them know my concerns and fears and am able to discuss ways of managing them, in the event I do get ill. Right now, I’m playing a pretending game. It’s called let’s not let anyone know anything’s wrong. That would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that it is showing in my performance. Worry translates to my hands. Things smashed / dropped, causes stress, more things go wrong, stress compounded further.


Staying well plan.

Alcohol – banished

Fibre – banished

Blood test – booked

B12 jab – booked

Gentle exercise – done

Light candles / meditation – done

Colifoam enemas – nightly

Stress – managed. Well, we can but try.


Maxim feat. Skin – Carmen Queasy

7 thoughts on “Calm and Queasy

  1. God your life is hard….damn it! I do hope this settles down a bit, R. You did get a tough hand….but you have the humour to deal with a lot of it. *hugs* to you….and good luck and hang in there!

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