Sedated rage

sedated rage

3 days off antidepressants and I’m crying. I’m not making this shit up. Paranoia is back. Paranoia that nobody likes me. Feeling alone. It’s a feeling, not a circumstance. My circumstances haven’t changed, just my headspace.

There is your answer, right there. It was worth a try. If I hadn’t run out of pills I never would never have tried coming off them.

So, I guess my ‘set’ state is depressed from now on?

It’s the way you see things. When on fluoxetine, something bad happens in work, you make a mistake…. It’s easily forgotten, I move on, I continue doing my best. My attitude is to make up for said mistake, and I’m able to. With a smile.

When not on fluoxetine, make a mistake, oh god this is the worst thing ever, worry about the mistake, unable to move on, make up, paranoia builds, distraction, oh my god I’m going to get sacked.

I’m not even making this shit up. Or maybe I am. 3 weeks it took for my antideps to take effect, 3 days in reverse??

Or is it the placebo effect. No drugs. Oh my god I’m so depressed.

Enough to make me cry?? For the first time in ages. For NO reason. Crying for NO reason.

Crying for no reason is the worst reason for crying.

4 thoughts on “Sedated rage

  1. No, when I’m off my meds just a day or two and I will feel it. That is normal. There is nothing wrong with you per say it’s just a chemical issue in the brain. The pill is the same stuff your brain would be making so it’s not like you are the pill, you are still you. Anywho I know what it feels like. I had run out of meds about a week ago, after 3 days it was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get more until my refill (called in late.. oops) got to me.

  2. Hey your set state is Not depressed. I am sorry that paranoia is shadowing you and I wish that there was someway I could help. For what’s its worth, i know it’s important to quiet the mind and not let those false dark thoughts slip into that sweet headspace of yours 😉. Remember that it’s just feelings and Not circumstance or reality. What’s real is that there are people off and on line who care about you and you have a wonderful job that you love. Be strong n Carry On. xxoo

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