My body, it leaks like a sieve

melted tampax applicator

I’m in so much emotional pain right now. For the past hour I’ve been crying hysterically. This tampax applicator had it. Which is, at least, not on my body. Not self-harm. Just melted plastic.


I had everything planned out. But it’s all gone wrong. I don’t know what I want.


I’m just taking her abandonment out on myself.


I don’t want to talk about lost objects anymore.


I can’t decide what I want to do, because I don’t care, because of depression, because of the way my head is.


I’ve never felt this much of a failure before.


I’m very low and thinking I need back on the antidepressants at least to try.


Because I still want to try and fix things.


I need some people in my life, but I am scared, because these people, I don’t want them to leave me.


“As we learn, as we age, we’ve learned nothing
and my body still aches
and we take ’cause they give, though I love you
and my body, it leaks like a sieve” ~ Brand New

4 thoughts on “My body, it leaks like a sieve

  1. God Rebecca. You are just such a gorgeous young, smart, artistic, musical genius kind of person. You break my heart. Please do look though…I am sure you have great friends. If you don’t, it is because you are shutting them out.

    There that is my version of tough love….crap hey?

    If I could just say this: I am so sorry you feel like this, my friend…x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s