I’m in so much emotional pain right now. For the past hour I’ve been crying hysterically. This tampax applicator had it. Which is, at least, not on my body. Not self-harm. Just melted plastic.
I had everything planned out. But it’s all gone wrong. I don’t know what I want.
I’m just taking her abandonment out on myself.
I don’t want to talk about lost objects anymore.
I can’t decide what I want to do, because I don’t care, because of depression, because of the way my head is.
I’ve never felt this much of a failure before.
I’m very low and thinking I need back on the antidepressants at least to try.
Because I still want to try and fix things.
I need some people in my life, but I am scared, because these people, I don’t want them to leave me.
“As we learn, as we age, we’ve learned nothing
and my body still aches
and we take ’cause they give, though I love you
and my body, it leaks like a sieve” ~ Brand New