The warmth

The discrepancy between fantasy and reality Defence and anonymity from pain Sexual undercurrents Shame-bound Imagined relationship Dignity impossible No voice Threat of violence and instability Your presence Intrinsic meaning Misinterpreted significance Destructive love Terrifying human mind Metaphorical rapist Assault my intelligence This dynamic Your disdain All-consuming Time-wasting, ongoing, controlling, unforgiving Hope Delineated boundaries Perception of […]

My own child

Having a child that is so much like you. It is you. An extension of yourself. A SAFETY BLANKET. A reassurance that it is ok to die, because half of you is left. Or two halves. I am at the point in my transition where I still have spot bleeding. I have ovaries. I know, […]

In alkaline

There’s something in the way she talks to me She’s giving me the first and third degree There’s something in the way she runs from me There’s something in the way she wears her clothes There’s something on her mind that no one knows No one really knows quite where she goes She’s killing all […]

Testosterone as a calming influence.

I feel like I’m relaxing into myself. Dark hairs spread down my thighs and up my stomach. I like the patterns they create. Stubble under my chin. A voice less harsh. Two semitones lower. I feel extremes of emotion less intensely. Positive, calming. There is no rage. There is a sex drive but it is […]

‘Coping’ with a stoma

I got fed up with typing so thought I’d try dictation You’re coping very well with having a stoma though said my mother We’d been talking about my decision to have reversal surgery In the grand context of things yes I’m not sure exactly how you know this what with living in a different country […]

Blood brother

Heal blood brother Lonesome lover Don’t feel afraid This sweet serenade is for you, my love I’ll fuck another bitch up I’ll fuck another bitch up Heal blood brother Lonesome lover Don’t feel afraid This pin-pulled grenade is for you, my love I’ll fuck another bitch up I’ll fuck another bitch up Run