Stools and gatekeepers

At what point will I stop being freaked out by stool coming out of my stomach? Changing my bag and a solid-enough-to-have-a-shape stool is snaking its way out. It’s rectangular, I guess, following the shape of the hole they fashioned. You have no control over it. Nor do you know when it’s going to come […]

Ileostomy surgery

I haven’t felt able to blog lately. I don’t really know where to begin. Everything going on right now seems to personal, in many ways. It’s always been helpful to write things down. This past couple of weeks of my life have been really hard. I had my surgery, subtotal colectomy and ileostomy, which was […]

On caring for yourself

I haven’t blogged in a while. I’m on a high dose of steroids which doesn’t make it easy to put sentences together. I finally relented and accepted that my flare-up was not going away by itself. I deprioritised my work, if you will, and I can’t remember the specifics, but ended up taking oral steroids […]

Matrix band, scalpel, it’s all the same to me.

I haven’t written anything in a while. Truth be told, I broke my laptop. I’ve got internet access on this iPad thingy, but I don’t like ‘typing’ on it. You don’t get the satisfying clickity click of the keys and I’m holding the muscles in my fingers like somebody having a cup of tea with […]

My despicable health

So here we are again… I am bleeding, have urgency, maybe only 5 toilet visits a day (because I’m holding it, would be more if not in work). My blood count is still low, so she wants me to reduce my aza again for another TWO WEEKS. FYI I’ve been on my normal dose all […]