Ileostomy surgery

I haven’t felt able to blog lately. I don’t really know where to begin. Everything going on right now seems to personal, in many ways. It’s always been helpful to write things down. This past couple of weeks of my life have been really hard. I had my surgery, subtotal colectomy and ileostomy, which was […]

Medical obsessions

People walk up the stairs two by two Me, I’m one by one He’s so skinny I could blow him over I can’t decide if he’s being a baby Or if he’s just had enough   The nurse is kind, but stupid My questions unanswered Give up Just do it   I love my blood […]

New voicemail

Oh hi Rebecca, it’s Kate. Um I just wanted to say I’ve got your message. Um unfortunately we still haven’t got space for you to start the um infliximab as yet, but I will be in touch as soon as we have. Okay, thanks, Byebye. To listen to the message again, press 1. Beep. Oh […]

Sympathy, help, where to find it.

I’m angry and upset right now. I wish everyone had to spend a week with Colitis to know what it’s like. It wouldn’t be any use, because they would soon forget. I soon forget myself in periods of remission. I can’t start my new drugs for 3 weeks, and they may not even work. But […]

Stress and bodily responses

I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. It’s a shame my body doesn’t know it. There is stress, good stress, excitement, gets my adrenaline pumping. I feel challenged, stimulated. Again, it’s a shame my body doesn’t understand. I look down the toilet bowl the water has turned bright red. I wipe myself, stand […]

Closing off.

Sorry for the lack of blogging. Words aren’t coming easily to me at the moment. Dreams are short when they come and soon forgotten. Yesterday my dream was that I was flirting with someone. I don’t know who. I don’t remember how. That’s all. I am still absolutely loving the job. It is a complete […]

My despicable health

So here we are again… I am bleeding, have urgency, maybe only 5 toilet visits a day (because I’m holding it, would be more if not in work). My blood count is still low, so she wants me to reduce my aza again for another TWO WEEKS. FYI I’ve been on my normal dose all […]

Sharing the love….answers

Thanks again J http://writingthebody.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/awarded-by-brigid-sharing-the-love-as-she-does/#comments for this… 1.  Name an enduring sorrow, something that has lasted for over a year I don’t really want to talk about it. 2. Best song that captures an enduring sorrow Kavinsky – nightcall. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lImoNKzn88g 3.  Band with the best lyrics Brand New. “I am drearily blood-letting this bed-wetting cosmonaut.” 4.  Band with the […]

Calm and Queasy

It affects everything, being ill. Today was my clumsiest day. One thing after another. Trying not to let it get to me. How can you concentrate on doing your job when your mind is elsewhere, when your mind is in your colon. Rhetorical question. How do I get the support I need when I’m worried […]

Dear diary…

Dear diary, Or should I say dear sex diary, as that’s what it’s turning into. Dear sex diary, I have not had sex. Lol. I have met a nice trans lady with a nice big whip. I have applied for a job as a trainee hairdresser. Well that would be fun wouldn’t it? I have […]