So turns out, she’s like a disease. When I forget…

So turns out, she’s like a disease. When I forget to take my meds I get all worked up, teary, and wish that we were in contact. It’s ok. I’ve taken my meds today. Medication to subdue my feelings, yes, that actually works. Suffering from a broken heart, a lost bond, broken trust? Just take […]

Sympathy, help, where to find it.

I’m angry and upset right now. I wish everyone had to spend a week with Colitis to know what it’s like. It wouldn’t be any use, because they would soon forget. I soon forget myself in periods of remission. I can’t start my new drugs for 3 weeks, and they may not even work. But […]

Closing off.

Sorry for the lack of blogging. Words aren’t coming easily to me at the moment. Dreams are short when they come and soon forgotten. Yesterday my dream was that I was flirting with someone. I don’t know who. I don’t remember how. That’s all. I am still absolutely loving the job. It is a complete […]

In my prison

In my prison I am never alone In my prison there is no reward for good behaviour In my prison it is too hot or too cold In my prison I hear children being toilet trained In my prison I am not supposed to stay for any length of time In my prison there are […]

My despicable health

So here we are again… I am bleeding, have urgency, maybe only 5 toilet visits a day (because I’m holding it, would be more if not in work). My blood count is still low, so she wants me to reduce my aza again for another TWO WEEKS. FYI I’ve been on my normal dose all […]

Sharing the love….answers

Thanks again J for this… 1.  Name an enduring sorrow, something that has lasted for over a year I don’t really want to talk about it. 2. Best song that captures an enduring sorrow Kavinsky – nightcall. 3.  Band with the best lyrics Brand New. “I am drearily blood-letting this bed-wetting cosmonaut.” 4.  Band with the […]

Dear diary…

Dear diary, Or should I say dear sex diary, as that’s what it’s turning into. Dear sex diary, I have not had sex. Lol. I have met a nice trans lady with a nice big whip. I have applied for a job as a trainee hairdresser. Well that would be fun wouldn’t it? I have […]

Attitudes to illness. To our own illness.

Healthy person: My tongue is spontaneously bleeding. That’s strange. I’d better go to the doctor and get it checked out.   Person with Ulcerative Colitis on immunosuppressants: My tongue is spontaneously bleeding. That’s strange. Oh well, I will have a tin of pineapple I’m sure that will make it better.   Healthy person: It hurts […]

6. Swift Expression blog challenge – Alone

Part of the Swift Expression blog challenge. “6. For reasons beyond your control, you find yourself completely alone for the rest of your life. How will you cope? How will you survive? Or will you find a way to thrive?” Well, I don’t think I will ‘thrive’ whether I’m alone or not so let’s knock that […]

Beginning to flare

It’s a feeling in your abdomen. It doesn’t hurt. But it’s moving. It’s uncomfortable. It’s making noises. It distracts you from anything else. All you can concentrate on is the feeling. Both sides. Up the left and down the right. It’s like something is living inside you. Something that doesn’t belong to you. Something unnatural. […]