I don’t know what I want

Human contact. Relationships. Friendships. Physical contact. I’m in this weird frame of mind. After my spate of one night stands which did not make me feel very good about myself, I’ve been online, and meeting people from online offline. To be crude, I have offers, multiple, and presumably bona fide… From men, boys, young men […]

Too ill to care

I was naive. My parents were cool because they thought I was joking. They don’t want me to change my name. As my friends pointed out, and I know this is the case (a) they’re doing quite well (b) very well considering their Daily Mail education (c) it’s going to be a shock to them […]

Sculpting emotion

When your dreams become mundane and everyday, so you can barely tell what’s real and not… it’s tough. Or when your life seems like a dream, a boring dream that you can’t wake up from, it’s tough. So now I’m a borderline face artist. I don’t draw faces, well sometimes I do. I sculpt them. […]

Your hands around my throat

What you did to me makes me want to cry. Especially when I’m drunk. And I want you to know that. I want you to know how terrible you make me feel, through your selfish, thoughtless actions. I can still feel your hands around my throat. Alcohol is great. It gives me confidence. Everyone is […]

I’m writing this for me and me alone.

I’m writing this for me and me alone. So Robot’s erroneous departure has affected me more deeply than I ever could have imagined. It was a deeply religious crush, a meaningful friendship. Everything occurred at a particularly eventful time in my life. It would make more sense if I had been abused as a child, […]

3,2,1 – A hobby or activity I enjoy

Blog challenge inspired by Swift Expression Music. I enjoy music. Playing my guitar. I was sent to piano lessons as a child for which I am eternally grateful, because it allowed me the musical knowledge to teach myself guitar. I love it so much. Today I was going stir crazy about something I have no […]


Loneliness is hard. When I feel this fragile… it hurts. There are temporary distractions, notifications pinging into my Facebook, silly banter, I feel less alone. Then everyone goes to bed and I’m all alone again. There are certain voids in me that need to be filled by certain types of people. Not everyone can perform […]

Does the feeling of guilt serve a purpose? If so, what?

Inspired by Swift Expression I suppose if I’m going to answer this question fully, I’ll need to share with you a time I felt guilty. Hang on, let me google a definition of guilt, so I know what I’m talking about: “Guilt is a cognitive or emotional experience that occurs when a person realises or […]