I don’t know what I want

Human contact. Relationships. Friendships. Physical contact. I’m in this weird frame of mind. After my spate of one night stands which did not make me feel very good about myself, I’ve been online, and meeting people from online offline. To be crude, I have offers, multiple, and presumably bona fide… From men, boys, young men […]

Stools and gatekeepers

At what point will I stop being freaked out by stool coming out of my stomach? Changing my bag and a solid-enough-to-have-a-shape stool is snaking its way out. It’s rectangular, I guess, following the shape of the hole they fashioned. You have no control over it. Nor do you know when it’s going to come […]

Hidden in the sheets

The last video here was one of me teary eyed so here is one of me not teary eyed to make up for it I went to the hospital. They sent me home. Going to go back next week and see my gastroenterologist. But at least I did something about it and am doing something […]

Too ill to care

I was naive. My parents were cool because they thought I was joking. They don’t want me to change my name. As my friends pointed out, and I know this is the case (a) they’re doing quite well (b) very well considering their Daily Mail education (c) it’s going to be a shock to them […]

Falling behind

Fallen behind on my blogging again. Haven’t been recording my dreams which seems a shame (to me) because I like having this little record here. Anyway, here is a song of mine, not mine, a cover of mine. I’ve done it before, the song, but this time I am actually drumming. And I don’t think […]

Hitting nails on heads, sexuality and gender.

With a woman: I will be a woman with breasts, a clitoris, a vagina and an hourglass figure. I will be a man with a chest and a phallus. I will be both, or neither. With a man: I will be a man, with muscles and stubble, sideburns, a beard and an Adam’s apple. I […]

Cover of Tender by Blur

Cover of Tender by Blur – Leanne Bunce & Rebecca Marriott So I’ve been going to this choir thing with my best friend Leanne (also my ex but she’s morphed), truly my best friend and some of our mates. It’s nice to have a little singalong and a natter, very good for depression which I […]