I didn’t notice that the drugs stopped working

Something snapped. Wrong place, wrong time. Reading about yourself, on the internet. Or other people like you. Look up meetings in your area. No meetings in your area. Swansea, Bristol. Inconvenient times. 12 steps. As if it were a flight of stairs. Get to the landing. When you live in a fucking bungalow. Infested. Dry […]

My own child

Having a child that is so much like you. It is you. An extension of yourself. A SAFETY BLANKET. A reassurance that it is ok to die, because half of you is left. Or two halves. I am at the point in my transition where I still have spot bleeding. I have ovaries. I know, […]

Rambling

The smell of flavoured condoms hangs in the air. The light seems so bright, yellow, unnatural, like burning sodium. And I think of all the disgusting but fascinating things like teratomata, or supernumerary teeth. I wonder about vagina dentata, the myth, whether it’s really a myth. Most myths are real. I drift off to sleep […]

Torn

It’s fucking tearing me apart. I’ll sit here with the heel of my hand on my forehead, grimacing. There is nothing I can do about it. I have never felt this helpless. I have never had someone let me so far into their fucking life and then… what. How I long to not care. But […]